Surprises

Why do I still get surprised when things are good with me and kc for more than a month? It's like, I don't expect them to stay that way because something always gets messed up. But I'm doing my best to keep that feeling in check.

I shouldn't be surprised. I should be happy that things have finally gotten to the point that we're communicating really well and we're excited to see each other and she still wants sex, although I think that her recreational use affects that slightly.

She knows it does, but, I mean, as long as I'm still getting it I really don't care how much she smokes. It's not like I'm in charge of her life. She does what she wants, so do I.

Last night I decided to go visit some girls on the rugby team that I hadn't seen in a while. kc and I are supposed to be going camping tonight and climbing a 14er tomorrow. It was very sweet that she wanted to climb this one with just me. We'll climb the other ones with our friends later but she actually said she wanted to do it with just me.

Usually she's always down for inviting other people so it was definitely a good change of pace that she wanted to spend the time with just me. Especially considering that one of my biggest complaints from before was that I never got enough alone time with her.

And, for the last week or so, when she sends me an e-mail she's been signing it love, k. And I will NOT overthink and overanalyze this. It's special and that's all and that's all I'm going to think about it. I'm not going to push for some sort of verbal confirmation that what she is writing is what she is actually feeling.

Last Friday when I went out for happy hour with some friends she came to pick me up because I told her I probably shouldn't drive. I felt bad because she had to leave a party to come and get me, although we did end up going back to the party after, and she said it was ok, it's something that girlfriends do for each other.

So the love and girlfriend thing is a good. I'm enjoying my time and my days and it's working out well for us right now. I think that all the shit that we've been through we had to go through because it got us to where we are now. So I'm just going to remain calm and happy and go with it because that's the best thing to do.