Just when it was going so well...

The shit hits the fan. As usual, or at least as what usually happens with kc and me. As we all know, I'm kind of a super horny girl. That's not my fault! But apparently, I'm just not dominating enough for kc. She says that she has or is having or what the fuck ever a mental block about having sex with me.

Again with the I'm such a good girlfriend and we have a great emotional connection and that part of our relationship is just so fucking perfect, that of course something has to be wrong because she doesn't want to have sex with me. The kicker is that on Friday night when we were having dinner she said that I should be secure with our relationship and not worry. Not fucking worry?!?! How the hell am I supposed to not worry when the very next day she tells me that she can't be in a sexless relationship and that every time we have sex she gets some delusional idea that I have expectations.

Expectations of what? The only expectations that I have are that she is honest with me and treats me well. Hardly unrealistic expectations. It's not like I want to move in or get married, and I'm pretty sure that I have stated that on more than one occasion. Unless she thinks that I have some kind of hidden agenda which I don't. If I had wanted any of that stuff from our relationship it would have been over long ago.

So now I get to hang out in fucking limbo again waiting for her to decide if she wants to break my heart again. It's like what the hell? Last weekend we had a good weekend, a little rocky when she didn't want to have sex and made me cry. But then we started talking about stuff, played a little truth or dare, which was more like truth. She told me she loves me and adores me, and yes she used the love word. I told her that I didn't expect her to say that a lot and that I always just thought that it was kind of an unspoken thing with us, that we each knew it but it didn't have to be said for it to be known. And she agreed.

And now this fucking shit about I can't be in a sexless relationship and it's not fair to me and it's not fair to you. I know it's not fucking fair to me. I have been nothing but fun and a great person to be with (once I got over all the ex shit). I give her little surprises and treats, mail her fun things, things that I wish she would do for me but never gets the hint. Apparently I have a submissive side that comes out after we have sex and it's causing her to have some mental block against having sex with me.

Is me being slightly submissive really a deal-breaker for her? I've told her that if she wants to get my dominant side she has to build and create an environment that will allow me to be able to do that. I need to trust that if I do something like that that she is going to go along and actually want to have sex and be into it. How the fuck am I supposed to get into my dominant mood when I can't even get her in the mood? I mean, I'm always in the mood. Well, almost always, right now it's a little skewed because I haven't been getting any on a regular basis.

Although apparently she won't mind if I sleep with someone else as long as she doesn't know about it. Apparently I didn't hide it well enough when I slept with rc. And then she freaked the fuck out and then a week later she wanted to be with me but without expectations. And then it was too much again. And then she wanted to be able to sleep with me without expectations. Apparently because I would feel guilty if I slept with someone else that means I have expectations.

I just really don't fucking get her. It's almost as if she is sabotaging the relationship because of who the fuck knows what. She did tell me when I first met her that she usually has a 1-2 year time limit on relationships. I mean is she getting the 2 year itch early? Did some past relationship fuck her up so much that she thinks that all girls have expectations? I know that the reason she doesn't want anyone to move in is because of some girl she moved in with a long time ago. Since then she has broken up with girls if they ask to move in.

First off, I don't want to live in her house. I like my house. Her house is where I go when I want to put a little crazy in my life. There are always people coming and going and it's just a sporadic environment. I like hanging out there but in no way would I want to live there. I like the quiet stability of my house. I like the peacefulness and serenity of my house.

Next, I'm not looking to get married. Does she think I have some hidden agenda to trap her? She has mentioned that if she's in a relationship with me she loses her freedom. Where the hell did she get that? I am not some psycho controlling girlfriend who wants to keep track of her every move. I don't keep her from hanging out with her friends. I encourage it because I don't want some controlling girlfriend questioning where I am and what I'm doing.

I don't fucking know. I just wish that she would figure out what the fuck is going on in her head that is keeping me from getting laid and just relaxing and having fun. Because after she puts me through this and we keep hanging out and then things are good she is going to want to sleep together again after she realizes that I am a great girlfriend and I don't have any expectations.

Social Dissent - How The Little Mermaid Is Corrupting Children

So since I don't really have any bitching to do about my life, and I enjoy getting fired up every now and again, I'm going to start posting some smartass sarcastic observations that I've made.

A few weeks ago I went to visit some friends and in the morning we had a little wake and bake and watched The Little Mermaid. Yes, the Disney classic, if classic is the right word. And I noticed something incredibly disturbing about that movie.

In what world would it be okay to let a child (ok, I guess child is the wrong word, in the book she's supposed to be 16), or teenager for that matter, think that it is perfectly acceptable to completely give up your identity to go after some guy that you've met once and have never spoken to?

Seriously. This girl is 16-years-old, she is allowed to roam free (ok yeah I know, it was under the sea, but come on) with no rules or curfew, only the knowledge that she can't talk to humans and she has to obey her father. But she doesn't.

So what does she do when she meets a guy and falls instantly in love with him? She does some drugs, given to her by some seedy woman who of course makes her trade something valuable for it. She gives up her voice, one of her biggest assets, and then she is willing to give up the life she has for a guy she hasn't even talked to.

And where does this get her? Rock bottom...literally. Well, not her, her father when the seedy woman comes to collect and turns her father into a wallowing soul on the bottom of the ocean floor.

Then the movie has the audacity to have a happy ending just further proving that if you disobey your parents and are willing to give up your identity you will live happily ever after. Who the fuck are they kidding? If you take away the cartoon Disney fascade you'd have the makings of an after school special warning kids to not take drugs and act impulsively. Of course in the after school special the girl would probably get pregnant and the guy would leave her as soon as he found out. But in the Disney version everything ends up all hunky dorey, her father is happy, the seedy woman is killed, and the girl gets what she wants.

Should we really condone this sort of behavior to children? Of course, children don't see it this way. Children watching this movie just hear the songs, some might be scared of the seedy woman, and think that in the end, everything will be alright. They will grow up, meet someone, fall instantly in love, maybe have a few troubles, but if they are persistent or run away their parents will simply go along with what they want.