Umm...yeah. I broke my rule, oops. So Friday night a bunch of the rugby girls came down to pre-game it before First Friday. We were all getting our drink on, I made them all do a shot of the Irish moonshine I brought back with me. Then we head out to the bar, all intent on having a good time, getting our dance on. And somewhere, somehow, all of a sudden, I was making out with sm. I just really have no idea how it happened or got started, this is what I get for ordering drinks 2 at a time (the line for the bar was really long and I didn't feel like waiting).
So yeah, we get back here, we're all pretty drunk, and next thing I know I'm getting it on with sm. Now, my personal rule is no sleeping with or dating anyone on my team, especially the new 23-year-old rookie with the adorable accent. And now I have to reinforce that rule.
What the fuck? I mean, I don't regret what happened, it just can't ever happen again. And hell no I will not be telling this to kc. The girls kept asking me if I was going to tell her and I was like, um, no, it's not like she has any say in what I do, and it's not like I was thinking about her while I was doing it. It's not like we're still dating or sleeping together, we just snuggle every now and again.
Of course, to make matters worse, sm doesn't exactly know about kc, maybe she does, but when someone on the team mentioned kc around sm, she kind of got this weird look on her face about it. I mean, I don't have to explain my actions to anyone, let alone to someone who will only be another notch in the 1-nighter belt, but I really don't want to have to have the yes, it was only a 1-nighter conversation with her, I just want her to get that that is all it was. Yes, I will have that conversation with her if need be, but, come on, everyone knows about my personal rule about not sleeping with teammates.
So I've got myself in a little pickle. And then kc wanted me to come over and snuggle on Sunday night. I was a little intoxicated because after our rugby match we all sat around at the field and were just drinking and talking and having a good time. But, I was in funny intoxicated mode and just being myself. So I went over to kc's house and she gave me a backrub and we snuggled and it was nice. And then she was all affectionate and snuggly on Monday and I just don't get it. Even when we were "together" she was hardly ever that affectionate, just occasionally, but it was usually after we had spent the whole night before having gloriously hot sex and when we were doing really well together. But we didn't have any sex, not that I wasn't seriously turned on waking up Monday morning, but we didn't have sex.
Oh thank goodness when I got home there was a little brown box sitting on my porch. My old toy somehow melted, onto my other toy. So I had to get rid of both of them and order myself a new one. And order one I did! It has 9 different speeds and is ergonomically designed for, well, ya know. So my little blue goddess is going to become my new best friend, because hopefully with her help, I won't go doing silly things like I did on Friday night. I mean, yes, I really enjoy having sex with another person, but I can't do it with sm, and kc isn't putting out, and a random encounter just really isn't me, so my self-loving is just going to continue on.
I need a job. Yes, I'm enjoying this whole respite from the working world, but I think if I had a job to go to everyday then I wouldn't be at home replaying all of the weekends events in my head and wondering what the fuck I was thinking. Ok, that's a lie, I know what I was thinking, I'm going to break my rule and do the new rookie. But really, what the fuck was I thinking? Oh well, no dwelling. Just enjoy the getting laid part and enjoy my new toy.
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