Lonely Mornings

Sometimes, I hate waking up alone. This morning was just one of those mornings that I wanted to wake up in someone's arms. Someone who wants to wake up next to me, who wants to wrap her arms around me, who wants to hold me and make me feel better. Maybe it's just this morning, maybe it's just this weekend.

My head has been a little off this weekend. I hope it's just this weekend and what this weekend signifies in my life. I hope it's just hormonal. I'm really not a big fan of waking up in the morning and feeling like this.

Most mornings I wake up feeling happy and fine, ready to face the day. This morning, I just wanted to roll over into someone's arms and have her hold me for a little while and snuggle. I wanted to make some coffee, put in some Van Morrison, open the blinds so a little sun shines in, and just lay in bed and be. And while I did get up and open the blinds and make some coffee, I'm sitting on my couch right now, alone.

Maybe it's just I wanted this Sunday morning to live up to my ideal Sunday morning scenario: waking up leisurely in bed, maybe an early morning sex session, laying my head on someone's chest, coffee brewing, light music playing, sun shining. It is just so relaxing and peaceful in my head.

Or maybe it's the single girl syndrome where all I can see are the happy couples surrounding me. Who knows? I mean, I know I'm not surrounded by happy couples everywhere, but...I just need to get this feeling out of my head. I need to go to the gym and go running and clear my head. Maybe that eye candy that was there the other day will be there. She's not really my type, kinda short (although that's never stopped me) and a little butch (which I like), but she kind of looks like a meathead, like she spends a little too much time in the gym and wouldn't be able to let loose and have a good time.

And to make matters more interesting, I had a dream the other night that I was being all flirty and stuff with sm. Even though I have no interest in dating her. And I can't let myself get into a relationship with someone I'm not interested in just because I don't want to be lonely or alone. I guess that's just the thing that I need to keep in mind when I throw myself back into the dating pool.