I get it but does she?

Seriously, all I want is a little time. A little time where you give me your undivided attention. A little time that I can just snuggle and lay there with you. A little time where I can have a conversation with you without having a hundred other people around. A little time where you are not distracted by everything else that is going on in your house.

Maybe it's just that I spend too much time there. If that is the case, then I need to stop that shit right now. I want kc to want to be with me during the time that I am at her house. Except that if I'm at her house too much, then I can't expect her to want to have all that time with me. And that is fine, unlike her other girlfriends, I can hang out with people and have fun. Unlike them I don't want to spend 24/7 with her, I'd fucking go insane. It's not that I don't like spending time with her, it's just that I also like my alone time. And it's not healthy to spend all your time with one person.

However, I should be able to get a little bit of time, I think that she should be able to handle that. I'm not talking every waking fucking moment that I am at her house, but if I would like to linger in bed a little bit longer on a Sunday morning than usual then what is the problem? Oh yeah, she has all this stuff to do.

And why doesn't it get done...hmmm...maybe it's because she's got so many other distractions and a huge fucking list of shit to do that it just seems to never go away. Maybe stuff does get done, and that would be great, but I wish that the list would be somewhat finite in that there is an end in sight. I'm sorry that she feels like she can't get anything done when I'm there, but how much gets done when I'm not there? I'm not there most of the week since this whole shift change business and it's not like I'm constantly hindering her ability to get shit done. So how hard is it to block off a few hours one day during the weekend to just be alone with me?

For example...last Thursday was the Halloween party. I went down to her house after I got out of work in the morning and went to sleep. What was she doing while I was sleeping...okay going to school, that needs to be done, and what else...no idea. So I wake up and start helping h with making food and decorations and that sort of thing, again, not pestering her for attention so that she could get stuff done for the party. Got to have some hot sex that could have lasted a lot longer were there not a party going on downstairs so that was nice, I really enjoyed that quality time together. At the party, didn't cling to her side all night, she got to hang with her friends and with me and that was fun. Slept most of the day on Friday, I think everyone was recovering from the party so that was good, but I can't really have a conversation in my sleep. Went to work Friday night, hung out with the rugby team all day Saturday after I woke up, and didn't get to her house until almost 3pm on Sunday. She had to study for a test and then we had to go to gs's for dinner. So again, no real alone time. She woke up Monday, went to school, and we all know what happened Monday night.

So I don't really think that I was out of line to ask for just a little bit of alone time here. Had I known that nap on Monday was going to be my only chance last weekend I would have made better use of it, although she probably still would have fallen asleep. We spent Thursday with other people, she had Friday night and all day Saturday to do her shit, and then Sunday we hung with the roommates and gs, and then Monday's debacle. So I don't really think that alone time is too much to ask for.

And then she starts going on about our conversation and that I said I have expectations of her and she doesn't like expectations, they make her feel pressured. Umm...I'm pretty sure that if I do have expectations they aren't really of the unreasonable variety. It's not like I'm asking to move in or to get married, just tell me if you're not interested in sex at all this weekend and I'll get over it, it's not like I'm going to pressure her into it.

Oh my god, I am spending too much time at her house. Damn, okay, maybe I'm not going to go down there on Friday. Maybe I'll just go down Saturday afternoon since we have plans for Saturday night. Although, if I look at this condo on Friday she wanted to come with me so I'm kind of screwing the pooch on that one. Oh well, at least next weekend we'll be at my house since we're going to a movie Friday night and then to the rugby prom on Saturday. Okay, new plan since I've already fucked myself on this, need to remember a book and my laptop and just keep studying for stuff so she can't say I'm distracting her from getting her shit done. That's what I'll have to do from now on, although after these next couple weekends since I know I'll be there maybe I'll just schedule some other things for at least Friday or Saturday nights.