Alcohol...

The truth serum. How the hell am I supposed to move on when she sends me fucking texts at 4:45am (yeah, that's right, 15 minutes before I get up for work) that ask if she can come and sleep with me? I'm sure she was not sober when she sent it, and when I got to work I had an e-mail that said she had a really crappy night. Not my fault, GFY!

What, suddenly I'm good enough when you're having a bad day? You don't want me to sleep at your house because it would be too uncomfortable, but when you need a snuggle buddy and someone to comfort you, now I'm the one? I don't get it.

We had a mini text-a-thon last night about how I'm confused about where we are at right now. Are we friends, friends with benefits, or something else? She said that we probably couldn't be friends with benefits because she wants to date other people and she knows that I'm not down with that. Okay fine, but then WTF, why are you sending me these messages that you want to come sleep with me? And at my house? Usually she only wants me to go down to her house, she never really asks if she can come to my house so that just makes it more bizarre.

So, I sent her a reply about an hour later (I didn't even realize I had the text until I got out of the shower and ready to leave for work) that said I was on my way to work but if she wanted to come watch rugby and come up afterward then that was fine. I know, I'm a glutton for punishment, but I figure that when she comes to sometime this afternoon she'll check her phone and see what she wrote, and then bail on coming up tonight. I mean, I'd be pretty shocked if she did want to come over tonight, though if she does she's just going to have to wait until I'm done having a couple beverages with the team after our games tonight.

But again, I doubt that she'll come up, unless her day yesterday was really that bad. I can't imagine how it would be, unless h hooked up with someone else, in which case I don't really want to hear about it. I mean, how am I supposed to feel sympathy for her? This is exactly how she has made me feel. I could feign sympathy, but she'd see right through it. Maybe something else happened, maybe she had an epiphany, maybe she went to hit on a girl and got completely denied, although I don't see how any of those reasons would make her want to come and snuggle with me that badly. It's just highly unusual (I know, I repeat myself, but this is just fucking weird) for her to ask to come to my place.

I don't know. We'll see what happens this evening. I have to give her the CD I burnt of all the pictures from our backpacking trip. I told her I'd give it to her at rugby tonight if she wanted. Who knows, maybe she'll come to rugby and then want to come to my house. That'd probably fuck me in the head a little bit, but I like snuggling with her and sleeping with her, it's just hard to keep my hands off of her when she's right there.