Am I dumb?

I think I am. Why on earth would I think that things would possibly change? Oh yeah, because she wanted them to. Maybe sleeping with kc wasn't such a good idea. Either that, or she just really needs to figure out what she wants, and she needs to figure it out fast. I mean, she told me that I could go down on Friday night to watch h's show with her and s, but that I couldn't stay over. However, we got back to her place around midnight and then we all stayed up playing cards and drinking. Suddently it was 4am and I was tired. I told her I would drive home but she said to go upstairs to her bed. God damn that girl turns me on and so of course I wanted to be naughty but so did she. Ended up falling asleep around 6am or so, the birds were waking up and the sun was shining. She said she wanted to stay in bed all day and snuggle with me, but she had things to do and I had some rugby stuff in the afternoon. Had a nice make-out good-bye before I left and things were good. And then yesterday happened.

She doesn't want to watch me flirt and hook up with other girls...okay fine, but if she's not going to be doing it then it's her loss. I mean, don't send me dirty texts about stuff you want me to do to you, say that you want to come over, and then bail on me. At least if I knew she wasn't going to come over then I wouldn't have gotten my hopes up. I still would've been sending the dirty texts, but at least I wouldn't have been under the impression that they were going to be fulfilled, at least not last night.

So I am holding out and not e-mailing or texting her until she does it first. I'm a little pissed, mostly just because I was really hoping that some of those things would happen, and a little because I spent yet another night fulfilling myself. I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't mind it, at least I know how to do it right (not that she doesn't do things right by any means, she is fantastic, and actually told me that I'm the best at a certain act that she's ever had), it's just I was really looking forward to her doing it.

Well, maybe she'll get her ass up to my place tonight. The people I'm staying with are out of town until Wednesday night, so it's either tonight or tomorrow before I have to worry about how loud we are. We're supposed to go to First Friday this week and she's going to get to watch me shake my ass with whoever wants to dance with me, probably mostly d, but I'm going to introduce her to one of the girls on my rugby team, so we'll see how that goes. Then maybe it'll remind her, yet again, that I'm hot, other girls want me, and if she doesn't jump onboard soon this ship is sailing. Either that or I just need to go about my business as usual, looking for other chicks to date, and getting my flirt on.