Tired but satisfied...

So kc came over last night. I grilled up some delicious dinner, turkey burgers with swiss cheese and mushroom dip. She was only an hour late, but at least she texted to say that she had something to do at 5 and that she might be late since she had to bring s home and then go back to her house to pick something up. So at least I had advanced warning.

While I was cooking we were talking. I had told her that I hadn't been able to fall asleep on Monday night and she asked why and if it was because she hadn't come over on either of the past 2 nights. I told her it was just because I have a lot on my mind with work and everything and that yeah, I was a little bummed she hadn't come over. I told her that if she had just said she wasn't going to come over in the first place it wouldn't have bothered me and I still would have been sending her the dirty texts. At least I'm being honest with her and telling her what's going on. Then she asked about how much time I thought that we should be seeing each other compared to how it was at first. I told her that maybe a little less, she said she had no idea. I just said that I would do what I had to do, she does what she has to do, and then we can meet up in between. I'm not sure how much she took to that answer, but it's the only one I can come up with.

When we first met I think that we spent way too much time together and moved things along far too quickly. I don't want to make that mistake again, I want to enjoy the ride and not feel rushed along. I want her to take me on dates and make plans with me instead of just assuming that I'm going down to her house for the weekend. I'm going to keep making plans with the rugby team and with my other friends and then do what I can with her. I can't be making plans with her then the rugby team then my other friends. Maybe at some point she will increase in the pecking order, but that will be after we have a relationship, which since she has some abherrent hatred of the word, I don't see that happening any time soon.

And then it was time to scare the poor girl who was watching the dogs. Not sure how much of it she heard, I'm sure it was at least some, but whatever, I don't think she was at the house for most of it. I can't be like that when the people I'm staying with are home so I had to get it out while they weren't there. And thank god kc's sex drive is back because I didn't care what time we went to sleep. There is something that makes me think that she does have some developing (if not serious) feelings for me. Her profusive use of saying how much she loves having me do certain things. I think it's just the fact that she says she loves them (because both of us agree that dropping an "L" bomb too early in a relationship is just a really bad idea) and actually uses the "L" word. It's both scary and endearing at the same time.

As things were getting heated she said that she thought we were just supposed to be friends. I told her it's too bad she turns me on so much and she said it's the same with me. So, who knows where things are right now, but at least we're both getting what we want. If I want her to take me on a date then I'll tell her, until then I guess we'll leave it at the friends with benefits part.

On Friday we're supposed to go out to First Friday, the monthly gathering of lesbians anywhere close to the city. It's a meat market pretty much. d is going to pick me up at kc's house and then kc and s are going to drive separately. I told kc that she should try to pick me up, I mean, she already knows that I'm going home with her if she wants it (which she does), but I want to see her pick-up style and what kind of an effort she would put in if she had no idea who I was. Plus I think it'll be fun. I can flirt with her like I would with any other girl who was trying to pick me up, give her the eye, the brush by, and whatever other flirting moves I have, along with being able to shake my ass on the dance floor.

My friend dc and I are going camping on Saturday and I guess now kc and s are going to join us. kc said her and s were going to go camping in the area that we are in, so I told her they should just go with dc, j, and I, the more the merrier. That should be a good time and then maybe I can break in my tent.

The weekend is shaping up to be a good one, let's hope it lives up to my expectations. I have the evening free tonight, but I'll probably end up getting all my camping stuff together and figure out what I need to replace that the ex took. Then have softball on Thursday night. Told kc she could come and watch if she wanted and if she wanted I would go over to her house after the game, but that I was going out with the team afterward for some wings and beer. Not going to skimp on hang time.

So things are picking up. I'm a lot happier right now than I have been in the past few months. Finally getting laid again. Getting to know the rugby girls a lot better and going to take my time with kc. Playing sports that I love to play and meeting lots of new people. So aside from being tired as hell today, I'm seeing the bright side of my life.